


Hidden In Your Heart

by Mockingjay468



Series: Silver Twins, Red Lovers [6]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beta'd, Board Games, But Only if you squint really hard - Freeform, Caranthir has made bad decisions in the past, Could Be Canon, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Gen, In Which We Twist Canon Into a Pretzel, Other Peredhil, Parents Not Being Perfect, Platonic Bed Sharing, Seizures, Sharing a Bed, Slight Cliffhanger, eldritch peredhel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28898889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mockingjay468/pseuds/Mockingjay468
Summary: He pushed his chair back and stood up but neither of the twins let upon their puppy eyes. “Look, I need to get some firewood for supper tonight, so unless you want raw venison for…yeah, I didn’t think so. You know, you could play against each other.”Eluréd rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but we always know what the other is thinking, so it’s not as fun.”Since the revelation last Winter, Eluréd and Elurín haven't quite known how to act around their adoptive parents. One night in autumn, Eluréd is ill and Caranthir and Elurín talk and come to an important conclusion.
Relationships: Caranthir | Morifinwë & Elurín, Caranthir | Morifinwë/Caranthir's Wife, Eluréd & Elurín (Tolkien), Haldad | Mahtafinwë (OC)/Dunred (Son of Dunthor) (OC), Halreda | Mírindis (OC)/Bregedúr | Lárion (OC), implied Caranthir | Morifinwë/Caranthir's Wife/Haleth of the Haladin
Series: Silver Twins, Red Lovers [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078715
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> Firstly - recently, my lovely beta [oliviacat3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliviacat3/pseuds/oliviacat3) (a thank you to them as always) pointed out an error in speech punctuation I have been making in my stories. I, being very stubborn, refused to listen to her until recently and so have just gone back to edit some of my stories and put in the correct punctuation. In doing so, I also rewrote two scenes (the last scene in [The Fire In Which We Burn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344777) and the first scene in [The Things We Have Done](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28505994/chapters/69919575#workskin), Chapter 2) in the series as the first I had been unhappy with for a while and the second I felt just needed a bit of tweaking. I haven't done anything massive to them, but I felt that I should inform you.
> 
> Secondly - I have recently decided to only put the first story in each of my canon series in the series [A Loose Interpretation of Tolkien's Canon](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070687) so any further stories in this series will only be posted to [Silver Twins, Red Lovers](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078715) only. I thought this would stop the first series being massively bogged down by loads and loads of stories in the future.
> 
> And finally - I wanted to apologise but I think that it will be a lot more like a few weeks between updates for a while now. I'm starting to get a bit more uncertain as to what is going to happen next (although I do have a plan, it's a bit vague) and I'm also writing my entries for Fëanorian week at the same time as this.
> 
> (I apologise for my zero understanding of Quenya grammar rules or how names are meant to be formed)
> 
> Sorry for the long Authors Note - I hope you all enjoy!

Caranthir wove his fingers together and leant his chin against them, a blasé smile on his face.

Elurín wrinkled his nose back at him before turning his attention back to the Teilidor board, his face deep in concentration. After a long moment of thought, he moved his king left four spaces.

“Flight,” He said, retracting his hand slowly.

Caranthir kept smiling as he moved one of his raiders forward. “And I believe that I win again.”

Elurín sighed and looked at his king surrounded by Caranthir’s pieces.

“At least you lasted longer than last time.” Eluréd commented, leaning further forward on the tabletop. “My turn now.”

Caranthir laughed. “I am _not_ playing that game again. Four times in one day is quite enough for me.” He rose an eyebrow at the boys disappointed faces. “Don’t give me that – you’re both nearly 25.” He pushed his chair back and stood up but neither of the twins let upon their puppy eyes. “Look, I need to get some firewood for supper tonight, so unless you _want_ raw venison for…yeah, I didn’t think so. You know, you could play against each other.”

Eluréd rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but we always know what the other is thinking, so it’s not as fun.”

“You can always shield each other out.”

Caranthir could feel the way his words hit the twins as they both tensed up, drifting closer to each other subconsciously. He pursed his lips.

“I’ll see if Halreda would like to play. I’ll be passing by the forge on the way.”

Eluréd nodded but both he and Elurín seemed to have retreated to the safety of their minds, communicating via their bond instead of in the open.

Caranthir exhaled ever so slightly, snatching his cloak from the hook on the wall and walking into the crisp autumn air. He said a distracted hello at Feleth and Léofel corralling their children along the road and smiled distractedly at Meduhild.

He had never deserved the twins’ love and affection that they had given so freely before he had told them but it still hurt when they suddenly retreated into themselves when he said or did the wrong thing.

Their guard would go up and he would be on the other side.

What was most frustrating, is he never knew exactly what would cause them to close off.

But he couldn’t blame them – he would _never_ blame them. It was his fault that he hadn’t been honest to begin with, it was his fault that he was feeling this way.

They still called him Atya.

They should never have called him Atya in the first place. They should not have ever felt indebted to call him Atya now, after his lies were revealed. He wanted to tell them it was alright, that they didn’t need to now, but he was weak. It made him far too happy when they spoke the word and he…he didn’t want to lose that.

“Haru!” A small voice called and a young girl came running down the street, coming out of the forge. Caranthir shook his worries out of his head and let his face split into a brilliant grin.

“Hello Haldis.” He caught her as she barrelled into him and swung her around to settle her on his hip. “How are you?”

She made a face. “Bored,” She declared. “Nana and Odheg Haldad are busy making things and no-one will let me help. I just have to sit and keep Halwyn company. It’s very boring.”

“Where’s your Ada?”

“He’s helping Léofel fix his door.” Haldis wiggled and Caranthir took that as the signal to put her back down. “Odheg Haldad said bad words when they left together and Nana told him off.”

Caranthir snorted, taking Haldis’ hand as they made their way back to the forge.

“…and so I told him – oh, hello Atya.” Halreda was leaning against the counter in the Blacksmiths and telling her brother some story as he heated up some sort of blade. “And Haldis. You’re meant to be looking after your sister.”

Haldis pouted. “She’s fine. And she’s boring.”

Caranthir smiled at his daughter. “As everyone here is very bored, would you like me to take them off your hands?” He switched to Quenya, which Haldis could not understand. “ _Euvassë haiya amba lornatála imi in málos nó hí_.”

She seemed to think this over for a moment. “ _Ta indune nëa alima_.”

“What are you saying?” Haldis asked, pulling on Caranthir’s hand. “I wanna know!”

“You and your sister can come with me into the woods for firewood.” As Haldis gasped in excitement, Caranthir turned back to his daughter. “Could you play Tyalitar with the twins? I _was_ playing with them but I had to leave and they don’t like playing against each other. Plus, you’ll be a far different challenge – they’ll have no idea what’s coming for them.”

Haldad looked up from the forge. “Oh, she’s irritating to play against.” He wiped his hands on the front of his apron. “I’m nearly finished here for today – I’ll come as well and we can play four player. I’m sure it would be preferable to playing against you.”

“I think you’ll find my tactics are very good.”

“Your tactics are horrible. Nothing you do makes any sense.”

“That’s the _point_. It throws them off the game.”

Caranthir cut in before it got into a fully-fledged argument. “I’ll be going now?”

Halreda waved her hand vaguely. “Sure, you do that. Halwyn is just in the next room.”

* * *

Halreda grinned as Eluréd found himself incapable of stopping her from putting her king in the safe zone. He blocked the path one way with a knight but with great satisfaction, she ran her piece the other way.

“Of course you won again.”

Haldad rolled his eyes. “But she would make a terrible ruler. You have exactly three other pieces on the board right now ‘Reda.”

“Meh.” Halreda shrugged her shoulders. “It did the job – and they aren’t _real_ people anyway. Wanna play again? There’s probably time for another game before Atya reappears.”

The twins shared a quick look and grinned over at her. “Sure. But let’s do teams.”

“Sure.” She looked over at Haldad. “You up for that ‘Dad?”

Haldad stood up and stretched. “Actually,” He said, “I’m meeting Dunred tonight. He invited me ‘round for supper. I’m afraid you’ll have to put up a defence all on your own, sister dearest.”

“Have fun at Dunred’s!” Eluréd called as Haldad swung his cloak on and whistled his way out of the house. “How long have they been betrothed?” He asked, turning to his brother as the door banged shut.

Elurín shrugged. “Four years now?”

“Five.” Halreda corrected, setting her pieces up in a defensive position before the twins set up their pieces. “He’s having commitment issues, per usual.”

“Per usual?”

“Oh yeah, when we were younger, he had three friends and that was me, Nibenaes and Haldan. Everyone else he just avoided. Fear of the unknown, I think – something to do with our peredhel blood.” She waved a hand, gesturing at them to set up their attack. “It’s partly why we argued, before I left, that is.”

Elurín studiously avoided her eyes as he set up their pieces. Eluréd gave her a curious look.

“Why would your peredhel blood be such a problem?”

“Well, when we made our choice, we chose differently. I suppose we both thought we’d be together forever.”

“What choice?” Eluréd asked and Halreda froze.

“Hasn’t…didn’t Atya and Nana tell you?”

“Tell us what?”

Halreda scrunched her nose as she realised that she should have held her tongue. “It’s nothing,” She said breezily. “Don’t worry about it. You could ask Atya later.”

Eluréd narrowed his eyes. “Are you-”

“It’s not my place to tell you,” She said tightly, cutting him off.

“But you’re a half-elf.” Elurín spoke for the first time. “And it’s something to do with being a half-elf.”

Both of the twins looked at her expectantly and a shiver ran down her spine. “It’s the Choice,” She said, despite the fact she had decided to say nothing. “Men and Elves have different fates – one goes beyond this world when they die and the other stays, going to Mandos. A half-elf’s fate is up to them.”

Eluréd’s eyes had gone wide and Elurín stared at his hands, looking very young for all that they were fully grown.

“How did you choose?” Eluréd asked but whatever had complied Halreda to talk was gone.

“ _That_ is for me alone to know.”

“But how will we-”

“You will know it when you know it!” Eluréd flinched backwards at her harsh tone and Halreda took a deep breath to calm herself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. Let’s…let’s play.”

Elurín pushed a warrior forward.

* * *

Caranthir stood up and wiping his forehead of sweat. He glanced over at his granddaughters who were happily engaged in the clapping game Caranthir had taught them. Caranthir was reminded quite suddenly of when Halreda had been Halwyn’s age and Nibenaes had played that exact same game with her, quite content to sit on the floor on the floor of the drawing room doing the same thing over and over to please her little sister when usually she never sat still for longer than a meal, always wanting to do something or be somewhere or learn something new.

The soft sound of footfalls on autumn leaves caught his ears.

Haldis too had caught the noise, for she jumped up, smiling brightly.

“Ada!” She ran across the clearing and into her father’s arms. “Nani!”

“Hello Brunfae,” Bregedúr said, kissing her lightly on the top of her head. “Caranthir.” He nodded, his expression tightening ever so slightly.

Amosgarn strode over, kissing him gently on the lips. “Supper is ready – venison stew from the results of my hunt. I’m sure you will have cut enough wood by now.” She turned to Halwyn. “Now, who wants hot milk and cinnamon.”

Halwyn’s eyes grew huge as Haldis exclaimed “Me! Me!” and climbed out of her father’s arms to cling to Amosgarn’s hand. She laughed.

“I’ll be there in moment,” Caranthir said, smiling at his wife. “I’ll just finish up with the wood.” He piled the logs he had cut into the large bag he had bought for this purpose and when he turned, he expected Bregedúr to be gone with the girls, but he stood there still, his arms crossed.

“You knew my father,” He said accusingly and Caranthir blinked in slight surprise.

“Yes, he was my…half-cousin.” He shouldered the bag, taking off towards the village, Bregedúr striding beside him.

“Tell me about him,” He demanded.

Caranthir made a face. “We weren’t close – in fact, I’m fairly certain that at times we could very easily have been described as enemies. I’m not going to be showing him in any shining light, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“You want an honest opinion of your father, don’t come to me.” Caranthir adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “Look for Galadriel. She’s your aunt and highly critical of everyone. She’ll give you the best assessment of Aegnor this side of the sea. If you want my advice though-”

“I don’t.”

“-wait until you meet him yourself.” He sighed. “If I had never known my father, I would probably view him as an evil tyrant and incapable of love. I know that’s not true – he did horrible things, don’t get me wrong, but he wasn’t a horrible person. The only way you’ll form a true opinion of him is through your own experiences with him – don’t let those be overshadowed by pre-formed ideas.”

Bregedúr was silent until they reached the outskirts of the village.

“And if I do not like what I find?”

Caranthir gave him a very small smile. “Then you have a lot more family than just him. I don’t think you will be disappointed though – one of the things I hated most about him was his insufferable likeability.”

* * *

_The seam on the shirt seemed to be never-ending, Elurín groused to himself, hunched over in his chair, pulling his needle in and out of the fabric. Every time he thought he was near the end, he would look at the remaining fabric and see it fall off into nothingness, a continuous trail as far as the eye could see._

_“Come and play ‘Rin!”_

_He looked up to see Eluréd in the doorway, little Elwing by his side, holding his hand. Eluréd was small – smaller than he had been the day Caranthir and Amosgarn had found them in the woods – but he grew before Elurín’s eyes, turning old and decrepit until…_

_Felawine stood in front of him, leaning heavily on her stick and his room in Haldad’s house melted away to the insides of the old sewing hut._

_Her eyes were ancient, as if they held all the knowledge of the universe in them. She appraised him up and down before slamming her stick on the floor three times._

_Flames leapt up around him and Elurín dropped his needle as it burned in his fingers. He spun around, searching for someone. He needed to protect them, find them, get them out…_

_Eluréd smiled at him from across the burning hut. Fire crept up his clothes but he remained standing there, the smile plastered on his face._

_“Eluréd!” Elurín screamed but it sounded weak to his own ears. He ran forward, every step feeling like he was running through tar and getting him nowhere, Eluréd right there, but so far away-_

Elurín jerked awake, snapping his eyes open, taking a moment to adjust to reality.

The bed squeaked slightly and Eluréd kicked him in the side. Elurín looked over and scrabbled out of bed as his blood turned cold.

* * *

Caranthir startled at a loud bang and pushed himself up, blinking slightly at the sight of his distressed son standing in the doorway. He shone with a silvery light Caranthir hadn’t seen since Telperion was destroyed – a brighter, more intense version of moonlight.

“Ami, Atya, ‘Red’s all thrashing around and he won’t wake up. He’s not…” He hiccupped and the light flickered, his hair – already rather fluffy in nature – blew up around his face due to some imaginary wind.

Both Caranthir and his wife were both were out of the bed with a choreographed fluidity and Amosgarn disappeared down the corridor after a gentle nudge across their bond. Caranthir followed more sedately, able to catch Elurín as he turned to follow her with gentle hand on his arm.

“Breathe, Elurín,” He commanded, placing his hands on both of his shoulders and examining his face. Elurín’s eyes had turned completely black, bled of their usual, silvery hue. His cheeks were wet with tears and his skin had patches of pearly white, iridescent under his shining light.

He took in a shaky breath that stuttered on tears he didn’t know he had been crying. Caranthir gently counted up and back down in time with the breaths and whispered soft reassurances that Amosgarn would take care of his brother. He laid a soft, blanket-like feeling over his mind, blocking out all the emotion in the surrounding air – something his father used to do when he was younger and distressed and unable to do so himself.

He did not let himself be disturbed by his son’s odd glowing.

As his breathing finally evened out, Elurín let himself be led over to the bed and sat carefully on the edge.

“Would you like some water baby?”

Elurín didn’t respond to the question or the nickname he hadn’t been called in a long time but accepted the glass when it was pushed into his unrelenting hands.

Caranthir took a seat on the bed beside him and they sat in a still silence – though not an uncomfortable one – as they waited. It was not long before Halreda’s figure appeared in the doorway, unsurprisingly the person Amosgarn called on in a crisis.

“There’s no need to panic,” She said, starting with the most important thing. “Eluréd is sleeping fine now. Amosgarn is going to stay by his side tonight just to make sure nothing else happens.”

“Thank you Mírë.”

Halreda hovered in the doorway a moment more before vanishing once again.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” Caranthir asked quietly, taking the undrunk cup of water from his hands. “There’s a space in the bed.”

Elurín stared unresponsively at his hands.

“Elurín…”

He looked up sharply, distress shining in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Tell you what?” Caranthir tried not to let his shock show through his words.

“About the peredhel’s choice. It’s why Eluréd’s ill, it has to-”

“OK, baby,” Caranthir cut in, standing from the bed and holding Elurín firmly by both arms, crouching on the floor in front of him. “That is not why Eluréd is ill. Eluréd is ill because he has Mannish blood. Whatever your choice, peredhel can be ill. I did not tell you about the choice because I wanted you to be able to wait until you were older to think about it. It is not something I wanted a child to have to think about. I am no expert on the matter – I only learnt it was a thing after Halreda and Haldad were offered it in a dream.”

Elurín sniffed, not meeting his eyes. Tentatively, Caranthir took his hands in his own.

Elurín froze but before Caranthir could pull away, he softened and leaned into the embrace, slipping off the bed and resting his head against his chest.

After a moment, Elurín sighed.

“Can I ask you something? It’s been worrying me for a while.” He pulled away. The glowing had subsided mostly and the skin was once again soft and skin-like.

“Of course.”

“Why didn’t you adopt us properly?” Elurín asked, looking Caranthir straight in the eyes. His were no longer all black, but now shined with starlight, swirling with the many colours of the night sky.

Caranthir blinked. “What?”

“You didn’t do it properly. The healers have lots of odd, unrelated books and you taught me to read Quenya. I was reading through them when I found one called the Laws and Customs of the Eldar. It spoke about adoption and you didn’t do it right. Why?”

Elurín kept his eyes trained on Caranthir as he stood and began to pace up and down the room. After a very long moment, Caranthir stopped and turned.

“I’m a kinslayer Elurín,” He said plainly but Elurín’s face stayed eerily impassive. “You were barely ten years of age and so certain on what you wanted but I was not going to join you to me without you knowing the full extent of my wickedness.”

“So why not tell us after you revealed the truth?”

Caranthir snorted hysterically, running a hand through his cropped hair. “Where to start? Maybe because I am Houseless, one of the most dishonourable places in Ñoldorin society. That is not something I would wish upon anyone by bonding them to me.”

“Amosgarn isn’t Ñoldor.”

Caranthir shook his head. “No. But at our wedding she agreed to join my House instead of me joining hers. She is, in all essence, essentially Ñoldorin, in tradition at least.”

“Could you not create your own House?”

“I…I suppose? But you need the High King’s approval and it’s not like we’re going to get _that_.”

Elurín shrugged. “There’s probably a loop hole somewhere. And I should like to be your family over being part of your House. Atya-”

“Don’t!” Caranthir took a step back. “You don’t need to call me that.”

Elurín frowned, the first real emotion on his face since the beginning of their conversation. “But I want to. Whether you adopted us or not, you’re our father and Amosgarn is our mother. You have looked after us and cared for us after yo…after the Fëanorians attack on Doriath. After…” Elurín trailed off, his eyes going pitch black and his skin beginning to glow again.

Paternal instinct fought against the new realisations and the decision to not force either of the twins to be his son. Paternal instinct won very quickly with a small voice in the back of his head (sounding remarkably like his wife) saying: “Don’t be stupid Gailant.”

He strode across the room, pulling him into a comforting embrace. Elurín did not tense this time, melting into his arms and sobbing against his chest. He burned warm, as if with fever, but Caranthir had seen it before – he was merely distressed and the blood of his great-grandmother ran hotter in his veins when he was such, bringing out an involuntary changes to his body.

“I’m scared,” Elurín admitted, his voice shaky and uncertain. “I don’t want to lose anyone else. I don’t…I don’t want anything to change. I’m happy here with everyone else and I want that to stay as it is.”

Caranthir sighed and pulled away slightly. “I’m going to tell you something very important baby,” He said, wiping away his sons’ tears with the pad of his thumb. “Change is inevitable. Things change. People change. Sometimes, it seems like you want something to stay the same forever and when that change comes, it is scary and horrible and you just want to scream at the unfairness of the world.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “But then, from that change, come things that are amazing and beautiful and that you would never change for the world.”

He sank to his knees and Elurín followed. “If I hadn’t left Valinor and the family that I loved there, I would never have met Amosgarn or Haleth or _you_ or got the wonderful family that I have here.”

“So we _are_ your family then?”

Caranthir gave him a melancholy smile. “I love you and your brother so much – just as I love Halreda and Haldad and Nibenaes and Amosgarn and Haldis and Halwyn. If you weren’t here, I would miss you terribly, like a wound on my soul. I have missed my children before, when they scattered to the winds after Dagor Bragollach. I’ve seen the pain of losing a child on my brother’s face.”

“Then why _not_ adopt us?”

“Because my love is a selfish love, just like my father and my brothers. Change was inevitable – I knew that – but I wanted it to stay the same just for a little while longer.” Caranthir gently stroked some of Elurín’s silver hair behind his ear as it settled around his head, his eyes faded back to their usual pale blue and the glowing dimmed to nothing. “And that is all.”

He pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Come on baby. You should get some sleep. In the morning you can see your brother.”

* * *

Elurín went around his tasks under Írenthor with a detached sort of efficiency the next day. Eluréd had not been awake when Elurín had broken his fast that morning as Amosgarn had thought it best to leave him be. Íreneth had gone with Amosgarn at around midday to examine him and had little to say when she got back on the matter of the mysterious affliction of the night other than that there seemed to be any side effects other than a bad headache and a general feeling of being unwell.

Írenthor had tried to cheer him up when they were hanging up herbs to dry them but Elurín kept slipping out of the moment and by the time he was back, he had no idea what Írenthor had been saying, thus making the entire thing a moot point.

He had, very quietly at the end of the day, asked if he may take back a few books to read at home – the first thing he had said all day, in fact.

Íreneth had agreed readily to loan it to him, on the condition he brought it back in one piece when he returned it.

With _The Laws and Customs of the Eldar_ tucked under his arm and his cloak pinned tightly around himself, he hurried into the cold autumn wind and back home.

He nodded at Halreda attempting to get Haldis to put on her boots and slipped into the bedroom he shared with his twin.

Eluréd was sitting up in bed, a piece of charcoal between his fingers, scribbling furiously in a notebook. He looked up as Elurín hesitated in the doorway.

“’Rin!” He said smiling, putting the book and charcoal on a nearby chair. “How was your day?”

Elurín opened his mouth to reply but found no words to speak. Eluréd sensed his discomfort and opened his arms. “Do you want a hug?”

After only a very little moment of hesitation, Elurín flung himself forward into his brother’s embrace.

* * *

“We agreed that we don’t care if you’re Houseless. We should still like to be your sons,” Elurín declared over supper a few nights later. Eluréd had completely recovered from whatever had come over him and nodded seriously beside him as he spoke.

Caranthir choked on his bite of stew and Amosgarn patted his back as he coughed.

“What do you mean?” Halreda asked, leaning over the table slightly.

“He didn’t adopt us properly,” Eluréd informed her. “It was for stupid reasons and so now we want to remedy that.” He looked pointedly at Caranthir.

“If you are certain.”

“If we were not certain, we wouldn’t ask.”

Amosgarn took another bite of stew. “They make a good point dear. And this time we can do the adoption properly with everyone in attendance.”

“Nibenaes won’t be here,” Haldad pointed out. “But we can always make do without her.”

“It’s her own fault for wandering so mu – no, that’s not for eating ‘Wyn.” Halreda rescued a stray Teilidor piece from Halwyn’s mouth.

“What’s going to happen? What’s an ad-hop-shoon?” Haldis asked curiously.

“Adoption, dear,” Bregedúr corrected quietly. “It’s when someone who wasn’t born someone’s child becomes their child.”

“Why?”

“Because the child’s parents can’t look after them anymore.”

“Why?”

“Haldis,” Eluréd cut in, apparently to Bregedúr’s relief. “Caranthir and Amosgarn are adopting us because our Nana and Ada died and so they can’t look after us anymore.”

“Oh.” She looked down at her bowl. “Is your Nana and Ada with Haleg?”

There was a sudden drop in the temperature of the room as no-one was entirely sure what to say.

“That’s a difficult question sweetie,” Halreda said tightly, giving her daughter a thin smile. “Why don’t you ask me again later?”

Haldis blinked. “OK. What-”

Her next question was cut off by a knock on the door.

“I swear, if this is Léofel telling me his door has come off again, I will in fact be drowning myself in-” He stopped short as he opened the door, stepping silently to the side.

Elurín looked across the room. A cloaked figure had strode into the centre of the room and pulled her hood down to reveal a young elleth. Her skin was dark – not as dark as Amosgarn’s but darker than Caranthir’s – and her face was round with large, green eyes and freckles over her otherwise unblemished skin.

She smiled awkwardly and gave the room a little wave.

“Speak of bloody Morgoth…” Haldad said, leaning away. “Pitya, you know how to make an entrance.”

“Wanders a lot? Wandered right the way in here.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” Halreda elbowed her husband in the ribs for his attempt at levity.

Caranthir had frozen but Amosgarn rose to her feet in a dazed shock. “Crisnaith?”

“Hey amil.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-Canon Names:  
> Feleth - Man Woman (Halish)  
> Léofel - Cat Man (Halish)  
> Meduhild - Golden Youth (Halish)  
> Haldis - Chief's Bride (Halish)  
> Halwyn - Chief Maiden (Halish)  
> Halreda - Chief's Heir (Halish)  
> Dunred - Dark-Haired Heir (Halish)  
> Nibenaes - Small and Sharp (Sindarin)  
> Brunfae - Old Soul (Sindarin)  
> Bregedúr - Wildfire (Sindarin)  
> Amosgarn - Robin Red-Breast (Sindarin)  
> Felawine - Man Friend (Halish)  
> Mírë - Short for Mírindis  
> Mírindis - Jewel Bride (It is more a joining of the names Míriel and Indis) (Quenya)  
> Gailant - Starry Face (Silvan)  
> Írenthor - Steadfast Iron (Halish)  
> Íreneth - Iron Woman (Halish)  
> Haleg - Sharp Chief (Halish)  
> Pitya - Short for Pityaþurwë  
> Pityaþurwë - Small Seeking Person (Quenya)  
> Crisnaith - Sharp Teeth (Silvan)
> 
> Quenya Translations:  
> Atya - Father (Informal)  
> Haru - Granfather (Informal)  
> Euvassë haiya amba lornatála imi in málos nó hí - It will be far more tiring in the forest than here.  
> Ta indune nëa alima - That would be good.  
> Amil - Mother (Informal)
> 
> Sindarin Translations:  
> Nana - Mother (Informal)  
> Odheg - Uncle (Informal)  
> Ada - Father (Informal)  
> Peredhel - Half-elf  
> Dagor Bragollach - Battle of Sudden Flame
> 
> Silvan Translations:  
> Ami - Mother (Informal)
> 
> Other notes:  
> Teilidor - The literal translation of this from Sindarin is The King's Game. It's based off of Viking Chess and I headcanon it to be a game that the Ñoldor brought over from Valinor (it being called Tyalitar in Quenya, meaning the same thing as Teilidor) and the Sindar just adopted it really quickly because it was a cool ass game.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> So it’s been a while...I apologise for my absence - I have been rather caught up by another AU I have been writing and school work and a new sewing project and I sort of ran out of steam a bit on this series. It is not abandoned! But I do think that updates from now on will be a lot wider apart. So I apologise.
> 
> However, as always, a big thanks to [oliviacat3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliviacat3/pseuds/oliviacat3) for beta’ing.
> 
> And I hope that you enjoy!

“A wedding and an adoption,” Nibenaes said, curling her hands around a mug of tea after introductions had been done and small children put to bed. “Good, I’ll stay then until Haldad gets over himself and actually puts a date in place.”

“How did you know-?” Haldad began, looking partly outraged and partly very confused.

She waved him off. “I know _you_. You inherited Atya’s commitment issues.”

“Sorry.” Caranthir took a sip of his tea looking decidedly not sorry.

Elurín tucked his legs further under himself in the silence that followed, his own tea warm in his mug and keeping his fingers from freezing in the draughty building.

“Anything else I should know about?” Nibenaes asked rather cheerily. “Because if not, I have plenty to tell all of you. I have been every which way since I was last here.”

“Nothing that I can think of,” Amosgarn said and Elurín murmured his agreement along with everyone else. “Take it away Cris’.”

“Should I do it alphabetically or chronologically?”

“Alphabetically sounds fun,” Eluréd said, speaking for the first time. Even the more rambunctious of the twins had been quiet since Nibenaes’ arrival as Elurín had to admit they were both rather intimidated by the elleth they had heard so much about and who was, when all was said and done, technically their sister.

“Then alphabetically it shall be! Wait…wait…no, that is _difficult_ , I shall just do it as it comes to me. OK.” She blew a stray hair from her face. “Point one-” She held up a finger. “-Gondolin fell.”

“Really?” Caranthir put his mug on the table with a soft thud.

 _What’s Gondolin?_ Elurín asked across his bond with his brother. Eluréd, who had far fewer qualms about speaking, asked it aloud.

“Gondolin is – was – a city to the North,” Halreda says. “Ruled by our uncle.”

Caranthir rolled his eyes. “It was widely regarded as a terrible move. He completely removed himself and the Ñoldor and Sindar under his rule to a hidden kingdom in the mountains _somewhere_ in the north.”

“Made a bunch of people furious.” Amosgarn laughed before sobering. “But it fell?”

“Yes.” Nibenaes started tapping her fingers lightly on her shoulder, her elbow on the table. “Betrayed, I heard, by a cousin of ours. Essa Aredhel’s son, Lómion Maeglin his name was I think. Turgon and Glorfindel were killed.

“I talked to Idril – she married a mortal Man called Tuor and had a son Eärendil. She seems convinced that Maeglin held some unseemly attraction to her but I find that hard to believe. I also talked to Erestor – you know, the librarian of Ecthelion’s house that Glorfindel bound himself too – and he is going certifiably insane from overwork and refusal to acknowledge his feelings, so that’ll be fun when I return.

“Mav Cairluin was there too. She let me stay with her. From what I gathered, her husband died in the attack so she was in charge of his House since and was rather busy. And sad.”

Amosgarn sighed. “She always has been,” She muttered. Elurín, who had been trying desperately to keep up with Nibenaes’ rambling turned his head sharply. Amosgarn was tapping the table lightly, her eyes distant.

“Ami?” Eluréd blinked curiously at his mother.

She started as she realised they were all looking at her. Blushing slightly, she smiled at her daughter. “Go on dear.”

“All the refugees escaped to Sirion and joined those from Doriath. Idril was leading them and has taken over a sort of half-leadership role of the Sindar too, on the agreement that she would leave the little princess in charge when sh-”

“Elwing?” Eluréd asked, standing up and leaning right the way across the table. “You met Elwing?”

Elwing.

 _Elwing_.

His little sister.

Feelings he didn’t know he had threatened to spill out and he had to clamp down on them. It probably wasn’t even Elwing. She surely wouldn’t have been able to survive Doriath.

“Met is not quite the right word to use.” Oh. Elurín swallowed and pushed his thoughts on the matter away to focus on what was being said. “I saw her from a distance because Idril trusts me about as far as she can throw me – farther, maybe, than the time we met when I was very little, but still not massively far.”

Eluréd sunk back into his seat, looking a bit dejected at so little news but hopeful at the thought that she was still alive.

Elurín refused to think about it.

Nibenaes interlocked her fingers to observe them curiously. “But why the concern for…” Realisation dawned on her face. “Ooh, you’re _that_ Eluréd and Elurín.”

“Which others did you think they were?” Caranthir asked incredulously.

She shrugged. “My mind had filed them away under the ‘dead’ category, alright. And I certainly didn’t think that they would want to be adopted by two people who destroyed their home.”

“They didn’t!” Elurín said quickly, glad of a change of subject – it was testament to his desire to not think of his sister and what that might imply that it was almost a relief to talk of the destruction of his home. “Caranthir disowned his family and became Houseless to get out of the Oath.”

Nibenaes blinked. “And that worked?”

“Yep. No oath.” Caranthir gave her a tight smile.

“Are you sure?”

“I know what an oath feels like Pitya.”

Nibenaes grimaces and leans back in her chair, twirling a lock of her hair around a finger. “Just checking. Which brings me onto point two-” She raises another finger. “-Gil-Galad has just been crowned High King. We had a nice little cousin supper the other night with ‘Brimbor. Not much on that point other than tensions between Ñoldor and Sindar but not many other options for living arrangements.

“Something fun _I_ found to do in the city was to go around gossiping about Gil’s origins. There were some bangers. I don’t think people like to think of him as the son of either a Kinslayer or an unmarried man and completely dissed me when I told them the truth. Someone suggested that he was Rendo Argon and let me tell you, that was my favourite.

“Essa Galadriel was there with her _lovely_ husband Celeborn and Mav Lindwil and Mav Oropher. The former couple seemed unable to decide whether they liked me or not, so I just stayed clear, but the latter I spent a lot of time with. They have twins – a son and a daughter, Thranduil and Lithuian, and they were delightful company, despite barely having reached their majority. Reminded me a lot of you two,” She said, addressing Haldad and Halreda. “Very gullible – well, Lithuian was. Thranduil caught onto me quickly enough.

“And Essa Lalwen was there! With Círdan – did you know they were friends? Anyway, she was happy to let me stay with her for a bit while I circled my way through the Havens; there is a lot there and I wanted to squeeze it of all its rumours before I continued on my way.”

She took a deep breath before plunging on and Elurín found himself somewhat relieved that she was not going to pass out from asphyxiation. “Which leads me onto point three.” She raises a third finger. “I went to visit your dear brothers at Amon Ereb.” Her eyes flickered around the table and the conversational tone in her voice disappeared. “I shall merely say that I barely managed a conversation with Anno Amras where he did _not_ speak to someone who was decidedly not this side of the ocean, let alone in the room; I could barely hear myself think over screechy violin playing; and Anno Maedhros looked like he was about a hairs breadth away from snapping.”

From the corner of his eye, Elurín could see Caranthir look down at his hands guiltily.

“On a more positive note, Essa Mirlas was quite cheery and gave me a flower crown.”

Amosgarn rose her eyebrow warily. “What type of flowers were in it?”

“Umm…white carnations, cattail and…passionflowers, I think.”

Amosgarn sighed. “I…there is meaning in that that I’m not even going to touch. Do you want to…continue?”

“Connotations?” Haldad asked curiously before Nibenaes could speak.

Amosgarn made a face. “Don’t ask. Nibenaes?”

Nibenaes looked carefully between the faces around the table, who all seemed as confused as Haldad, before shrugging and raising a fourth finger as she continued. “Alright, point four – why, I am, in fact, here. Groups of Men are magnetising to the shore – it’s safer from the enemy. I am currently making my way around the continent, bringing Círdan’s offer of safety and protection at the Havens.” She turned to Haldad. “Tomorrow, may I speak to your leader?”

“We don’t have a leader.”

“You don’t…have a leader?”

Haldad waved a hand vaguely. “The last one died with no heir and no-one really took his place. We have a sort of council thing with the heads of all the families, which I will call tomorrow evening and you can give them the message you were sent to give.”

“What of us?” Eluréd asked as Elurín mentally prodded him to ask.

“Of you?”

“Yes. We need to see our sister again.”

“Oh, of _course_.” Amosgarn smiled. “But I am sure the village will vote in favour of leaving. We will go together.”

“And if they don’t?” Elurín asked, speaking for the first time and barely audible. “We don’t want to leave you.”

Caranthir sighed, leaning his forehead against his hand and giving everyone an exhausted smile. “This is a lot of information for one night,” He finally said, “Let’s wait until morning when we are all rested and have slept on new revelations to make any decisions. Pitya, can you sleep in here tonight? We’ll find you a place to put a bed sometime tomorrow.”

* * *

“I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have left.” Caranthir ran a hand through his hair as he paced up and down the bedroom floor. “They’re…they’re going to…and Curvo and Tyelko are _dead_ and…and…” He covered his mouth with a hand, sinking shakily to the floor.

Amosgarn slipped from the bed and knelt in front of him. “Listen to me Carnistir Morifinwë,” She said sharply, cupping his cheek in her hands. “You could not have changed any of this. OK?”

Caranthir leant into her touch. “I know. I just…I just _wish_ …”

“I know.” Amosgarn leant forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I wish too.”

He took a few deep breaths, letting himself revel in her presence, before he looked up at her. “I think I shall go for a walk and clear my head.”

“I’ll come with!”

“No.” Caranthir stood, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head as he did so. “I need to be alone for a while.”

“Of course.” She smiled in acquiescence. “I shall be here.”

Caranthir leant his forehead against hers for a moment. “I love you.”

“I’m very loveable.”

He laughed softly before turning to the door and making his way into the night.

* * *

The door of their bedroom had barely closed before Eluréd turned around excitedly.

“Elwing is alive! She lives and she is safe and cared for!” He grabbed Elurín’s shoulders. “Don’t you know what this means? We can find her and we can be a family again!”

Elurín shook his head. “She won’t recognise us. We’ve all grown up ‘Red,” He said, sitting on the bed in a defeated flump and tugging off his boots.

“Sure, she won’t recognise us at first, but when she does…”

“I don’t want to leave our family here ‘Red!”

“You won’t have to!” He grinned. “The council will surely vote in favour of moving. Orc attacks have been growing far more frequent in the farms and it’s only a matter of time before they get to the village itself. The council will surely acknowledge that.”

“And if they don’t? What do we do then?”

Eluréd’s smile fell slightly and Elurín pursed his lips, biting back tears. “Exactly.”

“Hey, ‘Rin, don’t cry.” Eluréd face creased in worry.

“I’m not crying!” Elurín refuted, taking a step back but Eluréd looked distinctly like he didn’t believe him.

He reached out to take Elurín’s hands in his own, staring at him very seriously.

“We’ll figure something out. I promise. We’ll see her again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-Canon Names:  
> Cairluin - Blue Ship (Sindarin)  
> Lindwil - Swallow (Silvan)  
> Lithuian - Land of Ash (Sindarin)  
> Mirlas - Precious Leaf (Sindarin)
> 
> Quenya Translations:  
> Atya - Father (Informal)  
> Rendo - Male Cousin (Informal)  
> Essa - Aunt (Informal)  
> Anno - Uncle (Informal)
> 
> Silvan Translations:  
> Mav - Aunt (Informal)  
> Ami - Mother (Informal)


End file.
